I’m laying in bed, it’s 2 a.m. I just finished washing the dishes, “rescuing” my dining room and living room, loading and setting the washing machine. I had decided earlier this evening that I just didn’t wanna. I didn’t feel like doing any of that. So, instead, I sat and watched tv with my family. Then, I laid in bed with my baby girl and watched Mickey Mouse Road Rally. Yes, they were up really late. But, it’s still Summer and baby girl took a late nap, so she was wired for sound.
After tucking my girls into bed, I had decided to go to bed. It was already 1 a.m. But, while I was laying in bed with the baby, something started to feel unsettling. There would be stuff waiting for me in the morning if I didn’t do it now. So, off I went to my kitchen… And I began.
Now, I’m laying here in my bed, in the dark, typing this on my phone (set on dim so I don’t disturb my husband). Why? Because my mind isn’t sleepy. I’m up. Thinking. You know how that goes, right?
My mind landed on this article I read a few years ago about how much a Stay-Home-Mom is worth. Like, if that title earned a salary, how much she would be paid. Then my mind continued on to being not only a Stay-Home-Mom, but a doula. I happen to be both.
I know what it is to have to pinch pennies, save up for something , decide maybe I don’t really need that “thing” cause honestly, it isn’t in the budget. So, please excuse me if this post comes off at all cold-hearted. I assure you, I absolutely understand the “struggle”. Thankfully, we’ve been blessed to no longer be in that place.
Making the choice to serve is not without it’s compassion, empathy, care, and concern. Largely, doulas want to save the birthing experience. Making the choice to be a doula is choosing to serve another unselfishly To set yourself aside; your opinions, judgements, and critiques to “hold space” for a birthing woman is, alone, worth every penny a doula may ask for.
But, consider with me what it takes to be a doula:
- Initial and continuous training. Majority of which has some fee attached.
- An amazing support system to be on call when she’s on call for you. Which, in some doula cases is 24/7 every single day of the year.
- A family who understands she may not be able to make every event. Or may have to leave at a moments notice- Even though it’s her birthday party, or Thanksgiving, or Christmas.
- There is no “unplugging”. Her phone is ALWAYS on and within reach.
- Business fees. Which will include websites, materials, doula gear, proper clothing, gas for her vehicle, babysitting fees, possibly paying her back-up doula for being on-call, etc.
- I could keep going….
So, when you’re looking for a doula PLEASE don’t be caught off guard when she tells you her fees. I assure you, she didn’t come to those numbers lightly. She factored in everything. And while it’s important to know what you can afford, please take a moment to consider how you might be able to afford her, rather than how you can talk her down from her fee.
My. family. is. PRICELESS. This life I’ve been blessed with is PRICELESS. It’s precious and time is fleeting.
But, if you call, I’m coming. They will understand. Or… At least I hope so.
Just to be clear, there are many doulas out there who will doula for free or almost free. How they can afford to do so is beyond me. I sincerely hope this helps you to truly understand and appreciate your doula. She is sacrificing to serve. Her whole family is. And they are worth every penny.
Blessings to you along your way.